It’s been more than a year since I’ve posted…

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I don’t really know why I quit posting, I just got busy and forgot. It’s incredible to me that these posts were almost a year ago. I cannot believe that it was so long ago, but then I think about it, and I realize just how much has changed in my life.  How much I’ve changed. And somehow, I still remember the girl that wrote these posts with perfect clarity. The last post I made (the one about my awkward life…it’s right below this one) is just insane to me. But my story’s not over, nor is it any less awkward. In fact it’s probably worse. I’ve done things that I regret and I’ve still yet to forgive myself for them. I don’t know if I ever will. Ready for story time? Okayy here we go.

(I really don’t expect anyone to read this, but if you do, I’m done with the name-changing. It’s too much work. So from the last post, here is everyone’s real names:

Code name=Real name

Jacob=Sam

Sam=John

Brody=Hastie

Chase=Ben

John=Austin

Amy=Jordan

Ben=Brian

Katie=Lynsey

Josh=Alex

Stiles=Brandon

James=Travis

Jesse=Jacob

I don’t think I could have made their fake names any more confusing if I tried…Anyway, if there’s someone out there reading this, I tried to make it less confusing by putting them in the order that they appeared in the first story. They will not all come up in my new story, I just tried to make sure I covered all my bases. Okay, now you better really be ready, because I’m starting. Wish me luck!)

My Awkward Life Part 2:

In the last story, I left off dating Brandon. That only lasted about two weeks because he got too clingy. I was his first girlfriend, his first kiss, he was younger than me, and he ended up just being too immature. He was very sweet, but not what I needed. Afterwards, I discovered that my best friend, Elizabeth, had started talking to Hastie. She didn’t tell me about it and maybe if she had, it would have been a little more okay. We had a huge fight, but I realized, that she was my best friend and he was just a guy, one that I needed to get over. It still felt like a major betrayal and it was a huge blow, but the next day I told her: “You can date him. We can still be best friends. Nothing can change that. But I don’t know if we’ll ever be the way we were. You have to give me time, that is what I need.” Shortly after, we went to a football game. He was there and so was his best friend, Travis. Travis is a notorious flirt. Flirts with everything with a vagina. I swear. But we got to talking and I realized he was just what I needed. Someone to have a good time with. And it may have helped that he was Hastie’s best friend and it was kind of satisfying. So we were talking and seeing each other often. Then, this new guy walked into my life; Seth. And I started talking to him as well. Travis wouldn’t make it official and I was tired of waiting, so I figured, why not? Well they both had lunch together, along with Elizabeth, Hastie, and Sam (my ex from long ago, the one that dated my best friend Jordan after I asked him to). Pause. I forgot to say that Jordan and I are no longer friends. We drifted apart. It was for the better. She and I are two different people. Anyway, Elizabeth had to make sure Travis/Seth didn’t say anything about me at lunch because neither knew about the other… Elizabeth and Hastie never started dating. He just quit talking to her. Sounds like a keeper doesn’t he? Sorry, that’s not fair. Let me just get back to the story. While Travis took way too long to make his move, Seth wasted no time at all and asked me to be his girlfriend. I politely declined. He wasn’t what I wanted. Travis and I quit talking. So I went from talking to two guys, to zero in a matter of days. Then Sam texted me. He made some stupid joke. But I’ve been grateful for that stupid joke ever since, because it made us begin talking again. We decided to become friends with benefits. Then he started dating a girl named Kaitlyn. Who oddly enough, is my stepsister’s cousin. And I despise her. He didn’t date her for long and when they broke up, we went back to being friends with benefits. We were hanging out at his house one day, just laying on his bed (which by the way, despite the fact that we called ourselves “friends with benefits” we never actually had sex at that time) and he said “So, you’re cute, wanna date?” I was afraid to date him. I didn’t want to ruin us. But after a few minutes, I kissed him and said: “That was a yes, by the way.” So much has happened since then, we’ve grown and made mistakes. We’ve fallen deeply and madly in love. And I can’t imagine life without him. It’s scary and breathtaking, confusing and clear, nervewracking and exciting. Sorry, I’ll get back to the story. We started dating December 5, 2012. About four months later, his ex and my ex best friend, Jordan, started telling people that he was texting her saying that he wanted her back and that she was all that he wanted. She also said that he said when he and I would have sex all he thought about was her. I confronted him, and he said none of it was true and that it sickened him to even think about it. I had no choice but to believe him. I have no proof and he has never given me any reason to doubt him. Six months later, we get in a fight, Elizabeth and I are hanging out at my house, it’s about ten thirty, we decide to go for a drive. Earlier Hastie had said he wanted to race, so Elizabeth texted him and asked if he wanted to race. He said no but you can come pick me up. We did and we drove around. We played the game sex I don’t know if you all have ever heard of that game, but it’s where if you see a yellow light someone yells sex and hits the top of the car last one to hit it and yell has to take a piece of clothing off. Well while we were playing this game I got pulled over. We were all half naked and it was only for my bright lights. Not to mention, Hastie had vodka in the backseat, and we are very much not old enough. We weren’t drinking…yet. But then we decided to go back to my house and we started drinking. We also got my hot tub, it’s kind of broken so it was very cold. This is the first time I have ever gotten drunk. things happened. We were all drunk and it was practically threesome. Well we didn’t really have sex, but it was damn close. I didn’t get to bed till 5 o’clock in the morning. I had to work at 7 in the morning. I told Sam the next day. We obviously didn’t break up, he’s the best guy I’ve ever known. He deserves so much better, but I love him with all that I have in me. I knew I had to tell him immediately and I’m just amazed that he was able to stay with me. He’s incredible. Its been almost 5 months since then. We’ve had our ups and downs. Mostly it comes from that night, but I think we’re stronger from it and maybe even have gotten closer. I know it’s hard for him and I’m truly sorry. if you ever read this Sam, just know that I love you and if we’re not together , I will always love you. No matter what. I think that closes this chapter. Come back for more.

My life is so awkward.

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So incredibly awkward. Anybody ever heard of the show Awkward on MTV? I should be the star. Honestly. Let me start with my past relationships. To begin with, I was dating a guy named…(I’m going to change names, except Elizabeth and Kristin, y’all already know about them.) Jacob and he was all cool and stuff, so I went on what was originally going to be a double date, he and I and Elizabeth and her boyfriend, Sam. Well then my stepsister, Kristin happened to be coming over that weekend, so no big deal, we decided to set her up on a blind date. And who did I decide to set her up with? A guy that I happened to like a lot…we’ll call him Brody (yeah, that’s my dog’s name, but whatever). Okay, so we were getting ready to go, when my eleven year old cousin came over and my mother insisted that she had to go with us, but uhh she may not have known it was date. So anyway, we go to the movies. We watch a movie that is in a DIFFERENT language. Jacob and I are totally awkward, so instead of talking to him I talk to my cousin, while Brody forgets Kristin’s name and Elizabeth and Sam are making out. We all leave the movie before it’s over, cause it was awful. Ohhh and Brody is like four inches shorter than Kristin… Anyyyway, moving on a couple weeks later. Brody is telling me he loves me and I really like him but I’m still dating Jacob. I’m such a bad person. So I tell Jacob I need to take a break (and by break, I do not mean we broke up, a break is not the same thing!)  to figure things out. During this break, I hang out with Brody, we went for a walk with my dog…Brody. (; And he asks me if I will kiss him, I kiss him on the cheek and then I leave. Then I end up staying with Jacob and he knew that I kissed Brody on the cheek, for the record. After about a week, I break up with him for Brody and instead I date Chase. That lasts about a week. Then Brody breaks up with his new girlfriend to date me (I must be awesome, just kidding, sort of) After about three months with Brody, I break up with him because he gets mad because he thinks I cheated on him with Jacob (which I didn’t). Then I start dating, John, Brody’s best friend. That lasts about two weeks, then I break up with him for Brody, who has a new girlfriend… who he breaks up with for me… Starting to see a pattern? Anyway we date for another three months and then break up, mutually this time, because we fought too much. And right after that, we hung out, because I was trying to get Elizabeth and John to date and John was hanging out with Brody and I was with Elizabeth. And Brody and I totally made out, but still decided not to get back together, sadly. Elizabeth and John did not get together, by the way and theeen that was when I successfully got my friend Amy and Jacob (yes, my ex) together. So then I start dating Ben, but this time I waited like two months after the break up. Well I date Ben for about a week and then school starts (this was in summer) and Brody and I see each other again. So…I break up with Ben for Brody and we date for three months. AGAIN. About a week before we break up, we almost…got naked…no wait, we definitely did that…but we almost….finished the dirty deed, if ya know what I mean and if ya don’t…well you don’t need to be reading this anyway! But we didn’t and then we mutually broke up again because we didn’t see each other enough. So I start thirdwheeling it on dates with Amy and Jacob and guess who I become attracted to again? You got it, Jacob. Brody and I are good friends at this point and I tell him that I think I’m in love with Jacob, which you’ll soon find out later, was a huge mistake. Jacob and I start hanging out, without Amy, and he tries to kiss me, I pull away. And after that, it’s over for me and Jacob, we stop talking and stop hanging out, although I can’t remember why. Brody and I also stopped talking. I gave up on relationships for a while. And then Brody started talking to a friend of mine, Katie. Katie is super gorgeous and super sweet. One day, Brody starts texting me, and being the dumbass that I am, I tell him that I’m in love with him, and sadly I am. He doesn’t feel the same way. And then later, he says that since I love him, we should have sex (which I’ve talked about in another post, but whatever). Then somehow, it gets back to Katie, but she doesn’t tell me that she knows. She tells me they aren’t talking anymore and that she thinks he and I would be a really cute couple. About three weeks ago, I start dating a guy named Josh, and fuck do I regret that one. He was suuuper strange, broke up with him after three days. Now, I’m dating a guy named Stiles (yeah I used the guy from Teen Wolf, sue me). The day that we made it facebook official, can you guess who texted? Yeah, you got it, Brody. We made plans as ‘friends’ to hang out. Then, the next day we talked on the phone for five hours. Yeah, five. That’s when he told me that when I told him (see above) that I thought I loved Jacob, that he wanted to get back together, see? Jokes on me. We talked a lot about our relationship and his relationships and mine. I was happy, because I thought maybe we really could be friends, cause I miss him being in my life. Then on the first day of the new school year, his best friend…James tells me he wants to kick my boyfriend’s ass…um okaayyy? I asked him why and he said because Brody misses me. Apparently not enough, considering when we were supposed to hang out that afternoon, he didn’t show. We haven’t really talked since then. Granted it’s only been four days. I should just tell him to get out of my life for good, but I know I won’t. Anyway, on friday night, Elizabeth and I went to a football game with my boyfriend and his friend. My boyfriend happens to be my cousin’s cousin. Which sounds really bad, but I promise, we are in no way related. None. I just tell people he’s a close family friend, you can understand that right? Also, my oldest brother happens to live with him. At the game, it started pouring so we all left and went back to Stiles’ house. Where Elizabeth and Stiles’ friend Jesse started to make out. They were all pushing me to makeout with Stiles, but the truth is, I’m not real big on PDA. Especially not with my boyfriend’s mom, my brother, my twelve year old cousin, and my 4 year old cousin there. And I was sick. Brody was also kind of the last person I had made out with and…uhh…yeah. Lemme tell you, even though Stiles is a great guy and I really like him and I’m not gonna break up with him for this, it’s not the best idea to date someone close to your family. Then the entire family knows everything about your relationship! Oh and now that Jesse guy thinks he and elizabeth are dating…she won’t even accept his friend request. Believe me about my life being awkward, yet? If not, stay tuned, I’m sure that’s just the beginning. Oh and this is my fiftieth post, how cool! (:

Elizabeth and I. We're so cool.

-<3 Audrey

And I thought I was a people person…

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I cannot stand immature people. Nope. It’s so annoying. Two wrongs don’t make a right people. And there’s no need to post things that are going to start dumbass fights on facebook. …Not that I don’t find them interesting. But I mean honestly, if you want to fight with someone, do it in person, instead of being a little bitch and doing it on facebook. Or even call or text them, but I’m so sick of everybody acting like they’re the second coming of jesus and that they never do shit wrong. Everyone knows that’s not true because IT”S ALL OVER FACEBOOK. All the pictures of you smoking weed, snorting cocaine, and drinking beer, are going to be found when future employers look you up. And THEY ARE NOT GOING TO HIRE YOU. Why don’t you think before acting?

Sorry for the language.

-<3 Audrey

I forgot to put a title on this one…then I fixed it…

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My mother doesn’t love me. She never answers my phone calls. That is just rude. Really, I mean, I could be dying! What if someone was trying to rob or kill me…course I would call the police and not her…and I already texted her and asked for money…and then called her thirty (give or take…give) times, but whatever! I’m freaking starving, damn it. She texted back. No money for me. What a jerk. Not cool. Oh well. Has everyone seen She’s the Man? It’s freaking great. Buy it, rent it, borrow it, do whatever you can to watch it. It’s great. Practically ranks up there with Dude, Where’s My Car, Friends With Benefits, and Mean Girls. Yeah. Watch it. Have a good day! (:

Me and Kristin! (:

-<3 Audrey

Ummm….yeah.

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Elizabeth’s face itches…she broke out in hives…but it’s not contagious, so I can still hug her! I’m in a fight with a friend of mine, because sometimes (most of the time) she’s a huge bitch. Although, yes, I know I can be a bitch too. But whatever. Soooo, I sent my photography in to a place that sells local artist’s art and I’m just waiting to hear back. Yay yay yay!  I hope they’ll take it, I’m really excited….yeah okay…Check out the picture of the beach below! I don’t have anything else to say.  But Elizabeth does: Hi, so, you already know my face itches. But it does. A lot! I don’t even know why I broke out in hives. Bet none of you know my favorite song. It wouldn’t surprise, since I don’t know any of you, but it’s lights by Ellie Goulding. It’s great. I can’t feel my feet, I don’t think that’s healthy. Anyway, that is all. Bye!

Beach. <3

-<3 Audrey and Elizabeth

Love bites.

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Moving on is a lot harder than it seems. I keep getting told, you just need to move on and forget about him. I KNOW. You think I really don’t realize this? That I enjoy torturing myself? Not quite. Time and time again I’m told that there are other fish in the sea and I need to find one, but it’s just not that simple. There is this guy, and he’s new and perfect (for the most part) for me. And he really seems to like me. I might like him too, but I can’t tell for sure, because I can only compare him to the guy I’m stuck on. It’s killing me. But I never wanted new and perfect. I just want old and scarred. I just want him. You know the cliché ‘Everyday is gets easier’? Lies, I tell you. It just gets harder and harder. I just can’t wait to wake up one day and not feel the weight on my chest. Not think about him at all. And most importantly not miss him. Yes, I’m aware this post is depressing and I’m sorry. I also know the picture below is pretty depressing…again sorry. I love blogging and I love my (very few) readers and followers. Thanks guys! ❤

Edited picture of yours truly. <3

-<3 Audrey

I think I’m going to start a weekly thing…Ohhh yeah.

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I’m just curious to see which, if any of these bands are your favorite. If not maybe comment with your actual favorite. I’m going to try to remember to have a new poll every week. Thanks! (: